Note: This turned into a loathe-filled response to 'indie-rock' rather than the originally inteded one on bad Canadian music. you know man, sometimes I'm really fucking funny. This reminds me why I hate the formulaic afterbirth that is 'indie-rock' in the first place, it just screams, 'LOOK WE CAN WRITE POP SONGS THAT THEY USED TO PLAY ON OUR PARENT'S RADIOS COUPLED WITH A INDEPENDENT ROCK SENSIBILITY!!! LOVE OUR PUSSYJUICE CRITICS!! LOVE!!' Ahhh. I guess if you like non-threatening 'indie-rock' (note: the term 'indie-rock' makes sure that all bands categorized under said term ARE ALWAYS NON-THREATENING) then you will like this, non, threatening, independent, rock. Reader think as a race-hating Canadian, it is my duty to hate all the fucking crap that Canadian music fans are supposed to like.

He-Sucks! Master of the Universe! (draw little muscley guy here) Wow! Check out the tits on THIS broad!!! -> :7D 8 Final track = David Bowie-ish = no thanks! He sucks! And you know the worst thing about him? He sucks! These people put CRAFT into their work, and the result is nothing short of 41 minutes! I'd call it the greatest debut album of all time if the last two songs didn't suck so bad. Sugar sweet - and not BORING!' The New Pornographers have reclaimed that music and brought it back to the nineties with a venGEance! The vocal lines have NOTES! Melodic LINES! Guys and girls harmonizing together! Yet there are still distorted guitars rockin' out! This is a wonderful development, mostly because they're honestly truly GOOD songwriters - these are not the shit-filled E-A-D play-by-numbers disappointments you're used to hearing from bland power-pop-punk bands. If you want I could burn you a copy of the latest Destroyer album and mail it.Ī fizzantasic debut - all the songs are upbeat and sugary, but with really thick distorted guitars and fun bubbly Cars-style synths AND I DON'T GODDAMN MEAN THE GODDAMN GARY NUMAN SONG - Sometimes when I'm in the local Pizzeria Uno enjoying their special Chicago-style pan pizza, I hear a Turtles song or a Dave Clark Five on the stereo and I think to myself, 'What happened to music like this? Uptempo. Not just novelty funny or 'oh that's cute funny' laugh out loud funny. Thee Evaporators are more of a funny band, the music is still very good mind you, but the songs are, well, I think you'll like them (sample titles: Don't Hump The Dog, I Got a Rash, Telephone In Shoe). The sound is rather loose but not in a sloppy way, just in a very relaxed manner with well structured songs and plenty of Bah Bah's to go around. and they sound very cluttered but beautifully poppy and uplifting. Destroyer have been one of my favorites for a year or so. Reader you better get your finger out of that dike, because Destroyer and Thee Evaporators are two fine indie rock bands. They play BUBBLEGUM MUSIC! With hints of really early 'Little Willie'-style glamp! Who doesn't like Glamp Music? Think Ohio Express! Think Assocation! Think 1910 Fruitgum Company! Just don't think me late for dinner!!! For example, there's the part where I talk about the music of Vancouver's The New Pornographers (supposedly they're an indie rock 'supergroup' but the day I hear of bands called Destroyer, Zumpano, Limblifter and Thee Evaporaters is the day I remove my finger from this dike and drown all of San Francisco in her vaginal fluids). But there's more to my review than just a clever set-up. See, it was all a clever set-up to display my brilliant literary genius, the likes of which you're all jealous and stupid asshole.

Maybe the problem isn't today's MUSIC at all, but today's pornography. But what about all the other great bubblegum stars of yester, jerry? What happened to the Bay City Rollers?Īh yes, that one guy got arrested for possession of child pornography. I often find myself asking you, 'What happened to all the great bubblegum stars of yesteryear?' What happened to Gary Glitter?Īh yes, he got arrested for possession of child pornography. special introductory paragraph! Mass Romantic Electric Version Twin Cinema Live! Challengers Together

Like anal, it means you're gay? Well, it does. What's up with all the anal? Don't people realize that if you

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